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The Juggling Act

“I am tired.”

Lately, I’ve been confessing this, way too often.  And that really irks me. It makes me feel weak. As if I can’t handle things, or worse, I am failing in being me.

You see, as a bonafide self-acclaimed type A, get it done, multitasker, overachiever, pretty much wannabe Wonder Woman- weakness isn’t something, I so easily embrace, or accept.

If anything, my tenacity provokes a kick butt approach to life – pressing through, moving forward, getting back up, is the way I prefer to do things.

By no means, am I proclaiming to have it all together, because I don’t.  But, I do admit that I am a teeny (just an iota) bit prideful, and I am sure many of you can relate.

The problem with this way of thinking is that at times, I don’t know my limits, or that I am about to jump off the deep end. I have gotten better at this, but then again, I still have my seasons.

I am not saying it is wrong to be tired, or share how you are. We are human, of course we get tired.

But, for some reason, being tired has affected my family and me. It has gotten to my emotions and I was feeling unbelievably defeated, and I didn’t have the energy I needed to be a good wife and mom.

So, what was this girl to do?

Cry.

The tears were falling like a waterfall. But I couldn’t pinpoint the reason for my tears.

Have you cried tired tears, I feel sorry for myself tears, or the life is not fair tears, you know,  the “why do so and so have it easier than me- tears.” How about the guilty tears- “I am failing as a mommy or wifey?”

I think my tears are a combination of all of the above.

It’s imperative for me to mention that my tiredness isn’t about a lack of sleep, it has to do with juggling all the roles in my life- wife, mom, family, ministry, work, and making sure I don’t drop them.

Like I wrote above, I do have my seasons when I don’t know my limits. And recently, I did it again. I over scheduled myself for two consecutive weeks at work and home. I can bore you with the details, but I won’t.

Let’s just say, instead of enjoying a much needed three day weekend, I managed to take it away  from myself, and worked for 12 days straight.

As I was managing, or should I say, juggling my work responsibilities, it became too heavy.

But, I didn’t want to drop the other things, especially the mommy role. So, the inevitable happened I put down the wife ball. Not because I don’t value it, but it had more to do with the fact, that I have a loving, understanding husband.

How unfair for him, or more like, how unfair for our marriage. But, isn’t this is what happens (like really!).

Afterwards, I sat down and reflected. And all the could’ves, should’ves, and would’ves that somehow could have made things better, started to surface in my mind. If only, I would have taken the time to think things though from the beginning.

What I am learning is that balance isn’t something I desire, it has become a necessity.

Shoot, I need to it.

I can’t practice balance for a few weeks, or for a month long streak, and then fall off the wagon for a couple of weeks, and think everything is okay.

I know that there are going to be unexpected seasons, but even then, as soon as possible, we need to immediately get back to our priorities.  For me, that is my walk with God, family, ministry and work, and yes- that is the order.

Recently, I heard a message on balance, and the quotes below ministered to me.

“I don’t juggle, I cradle.” Mercy Lokulutu

“What you say “no” to determines what you can say “yes” to.”   Ali Worthington

I want and need to apply these principals into my day-to-day living. I don’t want to juggle my roles/priorities anymore. I want to cradle them. I want to hold them close to my heart, and let them know that they mean more to me than any to do list, or accomplishment.

I want to give them my first fruits, not my leftovers. I don’t want to give all my energy to my job or my ministry, and then end up too tired to pour into my first ministry- my husband and children.

“I am tired” is not what I want to be saying when I am home. I want to experience an abundant life with my family.

But in order to do this, God has to be first. Like the scripture says of the person “…whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.”

A couple of scriptures to meditate on…

Matthew 11:28-30

Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

This entry was posted in: Blog

by

Rosabel Sanchez is a woman who loves God- serves Him with great humbleness, loves her family and friends- serves them with great love, and love life with such a great appreciation for all that she has been blessed with. She, her husband and 4 children lead two churches on the southwest-side of Chicago, where they all live. As I embark on this new journey, I pray and hope I can become a part of one of your daily practices- your morning inspiration, your afternoon break from the world, or your evening cool down. So join me with a cup of your choice- coffee, tea, chocolate- and you will be blessed with encouraging words to warm your heart & soul.

4 Comments

  1. Janet says

    I completely understand where your coming from. I too have a wonderful husband of 28 years and when the burden gets to heavy our marriage is what goes on the back burner. With much guilty feelings on my part. I feel it is a very hard role we play, and yes the priorities have to be set, and yes I take on to much and disappoint people and myself but then get back on my game, after the long hard cry! Thank you for sharing your feelings and the feelings of all of us Christ following, moms and wifes who also work full time. Thank you for putting your writing as one of your priorities as it blesses so many and helps us all to get through!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rivera, Nereida says

    Wow Rosa, you hit this on the spot!!!!

    On Fri, Feb 19, 2016 at 10:31 PM, Rosabel Sanchez wrote:

    > Rosabel Sanchez posted: ““I am tired.” Lately, I’ve been confessing this, > way too often. And that really irks me. It makes me feel weak. As if I > can’t handle things, or worse, I am failing in being me. You see, as a > bonafide self-acclaimed type A, get it done, multitasker, ov” >

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lillian Maldonado says

    Hi Rosa, I am to blessed with a wonderful husband who understands and tolerates me when I’m overwhelm. I too had to juggled work, my children, and any family problems that came my way. I put my family on the back burner for the past four months when I first took my brother to the hospital until his death. I cried lots of tears and will continue as I come to grips with his passing. I can be at peace knowing that he accepted God into his life. Thank for letting us know that we are not alone in this struggle. Your words are an inspiration for me and I’m glad you share your words and faith.

    Liked by 1 person

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