I am certain you’ve experienced a bad day (or two) that left you wishing you had the miraculous power to turn back the hands of time to the moment when your alarm clock rang that morning.
And instead of your feet hitting the floor to start the day, you would turn the alarm off, and your head would hit the pillow.
Bad days leave us wondering what could have been, if only we would have taken the day off and stayed in bed. For this reason, what usually comes to the forefront of your head are the things you love to indulge in.
If only I stayed home, I would have…
slept until 10 a.m. with the blanket over my head. Fooling my brain into believing it is still dark outside. My ceiling fan would be up and spinning, to draw out the noise from outside.
treated myself to breakfast in bed. Preferably, a traditional big breakfast- sunny side up eggs, hash browns, bacon, sausage, and toast with butter and jelly- with freshly brewed coffee.
read a well written book, that drew me in with its dynamic characters whose thoughts, decisions and actions would pull on my heartstrings.
written a piece of writing that was raw, real, and ruthless. It would be interwoven with my mind, soul, and spirit. My fingers will type it into existence but, it would flourish into something beyond me, yet very much me.
And throughout the day, I would listen to worship music, pray without ceasing, and bask in His presence.
Thinking about this mythical, magical day of indulgences usually comforts my wounds that were created during the bad day.
Very recently, I had a bad day. Nothing horrible happened.
It was a Wednesday.
I woke up. And, the world was on my shoulders.
I had a lengthy to do list and I felt like I, the so called Wonder Woman, was no match for it.
Unfortunately, as the day went on, the list got longer. I would mentally scratch something off it, and within minutes another task or two will be added.
I was getting it from every direction- emails from my boss and coworkers, my Google calendar alerts reminding me of my next meeting or task, and text messages from my hubby, daughters, and friends.
Did you do _______? If not, when can you get it done?
Do you know the answer to _____________?
Can you take me to _______?
Can you buy me __________?
At around noon, I threw my hands up.
I waved my white flag.
I texted my husband: “I am not going to make it until the end of the school year. I think I need to take some time off of work”
After a few text messages back and forth, I opted to not make a hasty decision. I would hang in there, and give myself until Friday before making my move.
So, I said a tiny, teary-eyed, and tiresome prayer: “Lord I need you. I can’t do this without you!”
I forced myself to get through my work day, and teach my night class.
But that night, when my head hit the pillow, I had already made my decision. There was no point in waiting until Friday.
I was good… done! I was going to take the rest of the week off!
The next day, my alarm went off on my phone. I quickly turned it off, and laid on my bed.
To go, or not go, that was the question.
But, then it hit me, I had a dream. I quickly started to replay the dream in my head, so I can remember it and meditate on it while I fix my hair (I know weird, but explanation is forthcoming).
I opened my bible app on my phone, and my daily devotional scripture spoke to my situation.
I still had the lengthy to do list, but I felt encouraged.
My feet hit the ground, and I was moving forward.
As I did my hair, I meditated on the dream. For years now, I have felt that my hair and I had a spiritual connection. Somewhat, like the story of Samson in the bible.
The voice of God seems louder and clearer when I am fixing my kinky, nappy hair. To be honest, I think it has to do with the basic fact that I am alone and quiet.
In the dream, I was in a very old, rundown, yet exquisite house. The house was huge, equipped with chandeliers, long stair cases, and crown molding.
As I walked throughout the house, I would enter a room that was not easy on the eyes. Chipped paint, cracked walls, torn wallpaper served as design.
It was filthy. The decor was dust and spiderwebs.
But, I would close my eyes and instantly I would see the room’s endless potential.
I did this in each room in the house with a smile on my face.
After a few minutes of silence and mediating on the dream, I had an epiphany.
The house -metaphorically speaking- was my life. Areas of my life looked a little messy, especially my job.
But, God was telling me to “close your eyes, and see what I see – the blessings and the favor that are headed your way.”
I needed to embrace a different perspective. I needed to believe in God’s endless possibilities in my life.
The problem wasn’t my lengthy to do list, rather it was my negative attitude!
I had a discontented heart.
Needless to say, when I walked out of house, things were the same, but I was different!
Throughout the day, God showered me with favor and sweet surprises – Starbucks coffee from a coworker, a thoughtful email from a coworker, purchasing a couple of organizers for my office (yes, I am a geek), sweet text messages from my husband.
I am glad I didn’t make a hasty decision.
I was the ONE getting in the way. I needed to turn my eyes on God- my deliver!